Ed and Jane had been married for 50 years. But during most of that time, they were not happy. After yet another difficult period in their marriage, they finally decided it was time to get help. They made an appointment with a counselor, and went weekly for two months. Little changed. After another unproductive session with the counselor, Jane burst into tears. Not knowing what to say, the counselor gave her a hug. Jane stopped crying. And for the first time in years, Jane smiled. “Did you see that?” the counselor asked Ed. “That’s what she needs! What do you intend to do about it?” “Well,” Ed replied, “I could bring her back Tuesday for another hug.” While fictitious, that story illustrates how easy it is to mistakenly believe that our relationships magically take care of themselves and don’t require work and effort on our part to be healthy.